“For years I had wanted to do a shoot with Amber but like most I was to intimidated and thought it just wasn’t for me. I have a ton of insecurities and talked myself out of doing it because I felt like I didn’t deserve it! more like I wasn’t worthy enough to participate in one. Looking back now how insane is that?! I didn’t deserve a shoot? I didn’t deserve to feel beautiful? That’s insane right? How is it that we can uplift other women but when it comes to ourselves we don’t believe the same.
It took a long time for me to like myself let alone love myself! I’m a bigger gal and for years (since high school) I feared that’s the only way people would see me. I’m a lover, hard worker, supporter, and many other things and I have a huge tribe supporting me. The past few years I’ve had my own personal battles that i’ve had to overcome, my mom had unexpectedly passed away from breast cancer after just three months of us finding out and it took a bigger toll on my life than I ever expected. I will never take her last five days I had with her in hospice for granted! After that I was angry and confused but knew I needed to be happy again, it was just a matter of how? Amber had posted that she was looking for some models and I took that as a sign. I sent in an application and ended up getting the exciting call from her and started thinking about what to wear and when to plan it and all the fun things!
The day had come and I was so beyond nervous which now I know is so normal lol. I went and got my hair and makeup professionally done (as part of the shoot) and felt so beautiful! I cant tell you the last time I had actually felt good about myself, Courtney and I talked while she was getting me ready so it helped with the nerves then I drove over to the studio to meet up with Amber and begin the shoot. I showed her all the outfits I had chosen and told her about some of my insecurities! Ladies…I was not one to wear almost nothing let alone change in front of someone when I barely did it in front of my boyfriend. Amber got me pumped for the shoot and explained everything step by step I was instantly comfortable! I had so much fun and gained so much confidence, I wanted to keep going.
I was so nervous about getting my photos back because I didn’t think I’d even like enough to fill the album I had chosen with the package I bought. Amber reassured me I would love them and I’d be surprised at how many I actually like! Boy was she spot on!! She posted a sneak peek and I was crying happy tears, I had never seen myself in the same way she captured me in those photos! It just so happened that the time I did the shoot was my boyfriend and I’s one year anniversary so I decided to make it part of his gift even though I was nervous as hell because I didn’t know how he’d react to them. I chose my images and she mailed my album to me and he was speechless!! He kept telling me how beautiful they were. Now I can go into my next shoot with more confidence and try things I swore I’d never do. I’m so excited to walk in and kill the next one!
I wanted to write to you to remind you that you’re all beautiful. Size doesn’t matter and even if you think you can’t do it you most definitely CAN!!! Don’t hesitate if you’ve been thinking about it, even if you haven’t been thinking about it do it. I promise you that you won’t regret it and you’ll only gain from it!”